About Me

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Portland, OR, United States
As an aspiring theologian I live in a city, state, country and time that offers minimal allowance to stern conviction. However arousing this "fenced" position seems at times, I cannot stay silent or relent on that which sternly convicts the very core of who I am. If nothing else, this is the slow and steady, (rather infrequent) thought-life of one who has tried her turn at silence, failing miserably on all accounts. In my limited experience thus far, I have come to realize four very important facts of life which demand attention: First, that I am here by God’s appointment, second, in His keeping, third, under his training, and fourth, for His timing (Andrew Murray). The end of the story is still a mystery to me but I’ve relinquished my pen to its true author, leaving the future in a terribly exciting state.

Monday

Incongruency

He lingers
He calls me like a maniacal lover, waiting at the tide of his beloved
But she drowned long ago in its waves

He won't relent
in the midnight he calls to me
and when I open my eyes to silence and solitude
there I ache for him

Why do I ache at all?

could it be he never took my hand
could it be he never lead me to the grave

where the sheets were stained and my hands were chained
behind that great stone
could it be your mercy's flawed -- in need
of restoration
a poet's pen

could it be we are really bigger than him?
still, you won't relent

soaked in your casket
I, clenching fists at the bestial stares
meet eyes far too allied
They which wonder at a wondrous love
too embittered to conceive

So I burn the pulpit and strip the robes
I pull their tongues out with stones
I beat with sanity
mock with strain
to help reveal their paltry refrain

But you call my name
and you call my name
still you call my name

So could it be he never took my hand
could it be he never lead me to the grave

where the sheets were stained and my hands were chained
behind that great stone
could it be your mercy's flawed -- in need
of restoration
a poet's pen

could it be we are really bigger than him
...still, you won't relent

and i ache
i ache for you


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