About Me

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Portland, OR, United States
As an aspiring theologian I live in a city, state, country and time that offers minimal allowance to stern conviction. However arousing this "fenced" position seems at times, I cannot stay silent or relent on that which sternly convicts the very core of who I am. If nothing else, this is the slow and steady, (rather infrequent) thought-life of one who has tried her turn at silence, failing miserably on all accounts. In my limited experience thus far, I have come to realize four very important facts of life which demand attention: First, that I am here by God’s appointment, second, in His keeping, third, under his training, and fourth, for His timing (Andrew Murray). The end of the story is still a mystery to me but I’ve relinquished my pen to its true author, leaving the future in a terribly exciting state.

Wednesday

I Am Yours and You are Mine



As foreseen, my son has been my constant reminder of the love of God. Relaying the following story to a friend two weeks ago I was encouraged to share again here, however redundant this theme may be.:}

Recently the university I’m earning my Masters with put on a talent show for current and prospective students. I took Afton along with me for the first few performances in order to catch-up with my old Admissions team. The room was packed and Afton was immediately snatched up by a number of doters. Grateful for the break in constant parenting duties, I let him ride the wave of welcoming arms, keeping an eye on him from a distance as he moved around the room. He finally made his way back to my own circle, settling on the lap of a friend two seats away. It was past his bedtime and with all the chaos encircling us he wasn't acting like his normal, smiley self. Instead he maintained a sort of dazed expression, his mouth agape and eyes glazed. Friends of ours, familiar with his unremitting giggles and grins, took turns trying to unearth a smile. He slowly moved on from each expression without reacting in the slightest to their charades … until at last, his eyes met mine.

That’s when it happened. His whole countenance changed. He unreservedly transformed from this slack-jawed, wandering, uneasy boy, to the happiest baby anyone had ever seen! The top of his head down to the tip of his toes, smiled -- it seemed as though every part of him was grinning. He may as well have shouted to the rooftops, "That's the one I was looking for!"

Everyone at the table gave a unanimous "awwww" and I beamed with pride. My usual, smiling-at-anyone-and-everyone-baby (who made me doubt as to whether I was really any different to him from joe-shmoe at the grocery store) set me apart in that room like never before.

When I arrived home I just began to weep, feeling humbled and prodigiously honored to belong to this boy. And in the midst of my joy-filled-tears, Jesus said to my heart, "You know, this is how it will be ... when I come to get you and bring you home. A sea of unfamiliar-faces will stand between us. It will be when everything seems empty and lost and you realize more than ever that you truly don’t belong where you are; when you’re tired and looking for a sign of ‘home’... You will look up and see me searching. And when I see YOU, I will smile from my head down to my toes. And everyone will know that I am yours and you are mine."

John 1:12-13 


Yet to all who received him, to those who believed in his name, he gave the right to become children of God- children born not of natural descent, nor of human decision or a husband's will, but born of God.

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