About Me

My photo
Portland, OR, United States
As an aspiring theologian I live in a city, state, country and time that offers minimal allowance to stern conviction. However arousing this "fenced" position seems at times, I cannot stay silent or relent on that which sternly convicts the very core of who I am. If nothing else, this is the slow and steady, (rather infrequent) thought-life of one who has tried her turn at silence, failing miserably on all accounts. In my limited experience thus far, I have come to realize four very important facts of life which demand attention: First, that I am here by God’s appointment, second, in His keeping, third, under his training, and fourth, for His timing (Andrew Murray). The end of the story is still a mystery to me but I’ve relinquished my pen to its true author, leaving the future in a terribly exciting state.

Wednesday

15 Things to Avoid saying to your Pregnant Wife; Credited to Joshua Michael Andrews


  1. 1/12/12 – “If it’s a boy, we should name him Carl Winslow Andrews. That or Frodo-Samwise-Baggins Andrews.”
  2. 1/16/12 – “Babe, seriously, you have NO idea how tired I am.”
  3. 1/28/12 – (during first ultrasound) “Ok, is it really that uncomfortable, or just cold? We probably need to ‘up’ your pain-tolerance for what’s to come…”
  4. 2/5/12 – (behind the camera lens) “I think I see a belly! Oh, wait…we did just eat lunch.”
  5. 2/10/12 – “I want a baby girl. Yes, I’m saying it; a baby girl. But only if nothing bad happens to her…ever. And she becomes a nun. Ok, I want a boy.”
  6. 2/16/12 – “How soon can I start tossing the baby in the air?”
  7. 2/18/12 – “So, you don’t really want to just be home with a baby all day, right? I mean, there’s only so much sleep a person can get before life gets boring…”
  8. 2/20/12 – (After watching me struggle into a favorite pair of jeans) “That’s ok baby. I’ll just lose all the weight you gain!”
  9. 3/15/12 – “Listen, I found our stroller. Its $1500 … hear me out … the wheels convert into skis.”
  10. 4/7/12 – “You ready to go, Chubbs?”
  11. 4/18/12 – “I think I’d like to skip the baby-phase and just go straight to the play-with-me-all-day-dressed-like-batman-and-robin-phase.”
  12. 5/28/12 – “Hey, you actually look normal from the back!”
  13. 6/4/12 – (after being hospitalized for preterm-contractions) “Ok, I’m not saying you’re a woos, I’m just telling you now, you’re gonna get even fatter and hurt even more soon…just so you know.”
  14. 7/2/12 – "Ok, what if we did open a bottle of anniversary wine and I just drank your portion...?"
  15. 8/13/12 – (After I exclaim that "my legs are officially elephant-trunks" in utter exasperation) "Well that isn't so bad. An elephant's trunk is the smallest of their appendages..."


…I decided to start writing these down…more to come, I’m sure of it.
Posted by

No comments:

Post a Comment

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)